and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
