She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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