is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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