Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
