i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
