i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
