i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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