May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
