All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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