he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
