Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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