If i come over, it means nothing
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
