i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
