Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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