i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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