I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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