ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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