wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
