Soap is not a condiment
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
