my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
