he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
