I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
don't judge my taste in strippers
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
