Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
