I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
