the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
