You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
