I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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