No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
