Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
that may or may not have been my penis.
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