So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
