i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
