how can u be prego again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
