Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
