I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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