I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
