I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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