Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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