also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
