do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize