do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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