i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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