people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
