we have pet lesbian snakes
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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