Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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