I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we're making bets on your personal life
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
