I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
