Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this just has baby written all over it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
