Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
