fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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