I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
